shagbark (shagbark) wrote,

Bad idea of the day: GPS Dylan

I heard Bob Dylan on the radio today - not singing, but talking. He's trying to license his voice out to give instructions on the GPS navigation units in cars. And 40 more years of cigarette smoking hasn't made his voice any clearer.

So, someday soon, you can have this conversation in your car:

GPS Dylan: Tuurr werrf gorn, at the marn way shun.
Driver: Tour worth going? What?
Passenger: I think he said, "Turn left soon at the Penn station".
GPS Dylan: Froom! Werble in ferglesuh.
Driver: I think I was supposed to turn there!
Passenger: No, he said "soon!" Turn soon!
GPS Dylan: Howduz it fheil? Ti be hon yor hohwn? Wid no derekshun hoome?
Driver: I don't think he's giving directions at all.
GPS Dylan: Laka rawhlin schtone!
Passenger: You're making Dylan angry, man!

I know one of the only people to co-author a song with Bob Dylan - my late friend Bernie Statland. He went to summer camp with Bob Dylan when they were kids (only Dylan was Zimmerman then). Somebody was supposed to write a song for their cabin, and Bernie and Bob volunteered. So Bob wrote the first version. Bernie ripped it to shreds: "Bob, this song kind of wanders, and some of it doesn't make any sense. And it doesn't even rhyme right!" So Bernie fixed it up for him.
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